Anti-Pastoral

Because as much as I love pleasant pastoral children's poetry, it just isn't getting any more relevant these days. So it's into the city we go.

The Skyscraper Dance

Always at Midnight the Scry-Skipper Ants
Go marching in pairs to the Skyscraper Dance.
It's up on the south side and down on the north,
Railings and rooftops and back-and-a-forth.
Then it's the Leap Time when all the ants flit
Across the dark windows and jump all the lit.
And lastly in pairs all the Scry-Skipper ants
Go soft-footing home from the Sky-Scraper Dance.
 

December Morning

In the dark December 6 AM I lay inside my little bed
With happy, cozy little dreams all snug inside my little head.
And all the sleepy nighttime snow had drifted dreamy where it lay...
For all the morning snowplows to scrape screechily away.

You Might Also Like:

At Home the Wind Lives Up a Tree

Poems from my Past: "My Friends" and "The Present"

Subway Station: a more serious poem

How to Mend a Tear

The nice thing about the holidays is I finally get around to doing the mending jobs that, quick though they are, I never seem to manage when school and work are distracting me. Yesterday I tackled my favourite blouse and my favourite dress, both of which developped strange, shredding tears near seam lines.

The dress:

 The tear, right next to one shoulder seam:

The blouse:

The tear (one of two, I realized after I'd sewn it), right beside a very visible seam on the front right:

I'm not sure if the technique I used is the acceptable method for mending tears like this, but because I like to share...

How to Mend a Torn Garment

This procedure does not apply to tears in the actual seam. Those, thankfully, can be mended without visible stitches. 

Step One: Lay the garment flat  and line up the two sides of the tear as much as possible. If there are too many loose threads getting in the way you can trim them, but try not to cut them so close that it frays more.

Step Two: Set small stitches all the way around the tear, staying as close to the edge as possible while sticking to fabric that is not at all frayed. I used Photoshop to make my stitches visible; you will want to use a thread that matches your garment.

Step Three: Starting and ending on the outside of your two lines of stitching, set horizontal stitches across your tear.

Step Four: Smile! I didn't expect this shirt to be presentable without a cardigan after this repair, but it's actually not bad at all. An iron wouldn't hurt, though.

You Might Also Like:

Instant Gratification Sewing

Cleaning Vintage Linens Tutorial

Dress Shoe Alteration Tutorial

Very Nearly But Not

I almost forgot — very nearly, but not —

To update my weblog today.

But wait ‘til you hear all the reasons I’ve got

For this uncharacteristic delay:

It’s not that I lingered on Mulberry Street.

It’s not that I chased any rabbits.

No wardrobes, no Wild Things, no, only some feet

With some very particular habits.

My feet, you see, walked me to Somewhere today

And I met No-One Else on the road.

Then a Suddenly Witch showed up sudden to say

I (and No-One Else) would be a toad.

And toad then I was, from my head to my toes,

Excepting my nose and one ear,

And I hoppled to where the old wither-wind blows

Seeking help, and a hope, and a mirror.

The wither-wind blew me to Twiddicum Lake

Where the Swaddely Sparrows still sing,

And they cured me with gumdrops and spinach and cake

And three leaps through a magical ring.

The last leap I leapt took me straight down a hill

Into Danger-From-Kitten-ly Land

Where I barely escaped with my heart—and I still

Bear the mark of small claws on my hand.

And oh, from the frying pan into the wok!

The Puppy-Dog-Doomlands were next.

The eyes — those big eyes! But I made myself walk

On away — and the puppies were vexed.

I came to a mountain. And what could I do?

I couldn’t go over — too big.

I couldn’t go round it. I couldn’t go through.

The only think left was to dig.

I dug and I dug with an old, tarnished spoon

Til my hole was as big as the sky

Then I stumbled and fell past the stars and the moon

And I landed inside of a pie.

The pie was large one; a giant child made it

Of mud and of ants and of me,

But I got myself out before anyone ate it

And looked for a way to get free.

The giants lived snugly inside a town hall

That was hemmed in by bogland and trees

Plus a river of lava and also a wall

Manned by Barziban-Snarziban bees.

I only got out without being detected

By creeping barefoot through the bog.

And that’s why I ever-so-nearly neglected

To write some new verse for my blog.

You Might Also Like:

 I Went to the Mountain: a nonsense poem

Buttons: a poem for the technology generation

I had Six Cupcakes for Dinner

No Decorations? No Problem!

We didn't expect to manage a tree this year, so I didn't bring my little box of decorations south from my parents' house. With company coming to decorate gingerbread houses the other day, I wanted to decorate quickly with the bits and pieces I had on hand:

Bits of jewellery — some that used to belong to my Grandma, some that I collected for crafts:

Some crocheted motifs from an abandoned project, which I hung on paperclips:

Some cubes I had sewn for noiseless baby building blocks:

Pine cones I collected on the way home from the Library back in November when I was dreaming of Christmastime:

Folded paper flowers that normally decorate my bookshelf:

The lace flowers that were featured on one of my first blog posts:

Snowflakes made quickly by gluing together skinny sections of toilet paper tubes:

And two quick-crocheted items that I can't do without: an angel and a garland (one long chain decorated with — what else — buttons)

And the gingerbread houses?

Delicious.

You Might Also Like:

How to Decorate for Christmas (Without Getting Caught) Part 1

Christmas is Coming!

How to Decorate for Christmas (Without Getting Caught) Part 3

Nonsense Rhymes

Today I set myself a challenge: to write a poem without over thinking it. In fact, without really thinking at all.

Today's Poem-writing rules:

1. As soon as you come up with a line that rhymes, use it.
2. Don't think ahead to later lines.
3. Absolutely no editing allowed.

The result? Nonsense, naturally.

I Went to the Mountain

I went to the mountain where men are made mice
And I said to the sentry, "Go get me some ice!"
The ice and the mice made a nice sort of pair
And I danced, quite entranced, all the time I was there.

I went to the desert of dutiful gloom
And mentioned a penchant for visiting tombs.
They led me along to the pyramid place
And I must have got dust on each inch of my face.

I went to the sea—oh, the sight-seer's sea!
And all of the shrimp started following me.
I warded them off with a horseradish branch
And those shrimp shrank away soon as they had a chanc[h]e.

I went to the arctic by penguin-drawn sleigh
And all of the lights were illumined that day.
I would have gone back on the morrow, except
Those pesky-pest penguins crept home while I slept.

I went to the city—oh shudder my heart—
And looked for that old, fabled gateway "New Start".
It just wasn't marked on my tourist map, though,
So I scuttled back home with three dreamers in tow.

I went to the moon—to the moon!—Yes I did
With a monkey called Mark and a pilot named Sid.
We watched the earth set, singing old campfire tunes
And roasted marshmallows on moon-dusted dunes.

I went home again after all of this fuss,
Taking two trains, a plane, and an ox, and a bus.
Packing them all was a task, I admit,
But I folded their wings in and then they all fit.

You Might Also Like:

Very Nearly but Not

I had Six Cupcakes for Dinner

The Story Man


I Went to the Mountain by Erin Woods is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

Christmas is Coming!

Here's what I've been up to since exams ended:

I started making a creche out of bits of fabric, buttons and beads, egg cartons...

I assembled a batch of halos for my church's upcoming Christmas pageant.

And I snuck a Christmas tree into our little apartment.

Literally snuck. You should have seen my sister's face when she walked in.

I've also been spending a lot of time poring over HTML and CSS tutorials. You may notice gradual changes creeping over the blog as I learn to do more cool things. Feel free to give feedback on any of them. Like this font. I like it better than Arial in theory, but is it comfortable to read? Let me know!

You Might Also Like:

 How to Decorate for Christmas (Without Getting Caught) Part 1

Decorating for Christmas with no Decorations

Vintage Lace and Button Flowers

Exams are over!

To celebrate the relative freedom my first post-exam weekend, I will be taking a brief holiday from responsibility. If you find yourself trying to reach me tomorrow morning, I apologize in advance for any difficulties you may encounter.

I WON'T!
I say I won't—I won't, I said—
Today I won't get out of bed!

So what if the birds are singing?
So what if my friends are calling?
So what if the phone is ringing?
So what if the sky is falling?

So what if I'm a lazy-head?
Today I won't get out of bed!

I don't feel like cleaning or working.
I will not be touching a school book.
I don't care if you say I'm shirking.
For once let's just throw out the rule book!

Let me have my rest intsead.
Today I won't get out of bed.

So hush! Don't you wake me! I'm sleeping today.
Don't poke me, don't shake me, just PLEASE go away!
I'm standing firm on what I've said:
Today I won't get out of bed!

You Might Also Like:

I had Six Cupcakes for Dinner

In the Sunshine Land


Dusk and Chill


I WON'T! by Erin Woods is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

Home-Made Raggedy Anne Wig

The kids at my church put on a play last weekend about toys in a toy shop grappling with the idea of becoming Christmas gifts. Costumes tricked in over the weeks of preparation, but a few days before the performance we realized we still had no wig for our Raggedy Anne. I thought it couldn't possibly be very difficult to make one, so I set to work with:

A baseball hat

Some red yarn

 and some basic sewing supplies.

 Step One: Cut the brim off the hat. Use sturdy scissors.

Step Two: Make bundles of yarn by wrapping it around something several times. I decided my laptop was the right width.

Step Three: Tie a knot in the end of a length of thread and set a few secure stitches near the bottom of the hat.

Step Four: String a bundle of yarn onto your thread and secure it with a few more stitches to the hat. Don't put these stitches right next to the former ones, since that will make all of your yarn bunch up on top of itself.

Step Five: Do this all the way around the bottom of the hat.

Step Six: Continue to sew rows of bundles on at higher and higher points until the hat is covered. This step takes much longer than I anticipated, so give yourself lots of time.

Step Seven: It will look a little funny at this point, so...

...find a willing head and give it a hair cut.

Step Eight: Don't forget to clean up :)

You Might Also Enjoy:

Slinky Stripey Scarf Crochet Pattern

Upcycling a Pinstriped Skirt from Office pants

Reconstructed Sweater Upcycle

For Ariel

Back in September I committed to posting a poem here every Friday. Even when things get busy. Even when the kids I'm helping direct are putting on their play this weekend. Even when exams are next week and my entire class is stressed out of its collective mind.

But I never said they would be long poems at such times.


One of my classmates, Ariel Kroon, was having a particularly stressful time the other day, so I wrote a bit of verse to cheer her up. Check out her blog, Gluten Free on a Dime, here. Then check out the poem below. Oh, and please pronounce it AHHH-ree-ul. Not like the mermaid ;)

Ariel, Ariel, Ariel Kroon—
Our love for you could make us swoon.
We all would fly to the stars and the moon
For Ariel, Ariel, Ariel Kroon.

Happy weekend, everyone!

You Might Also Like:

I had Six Cupcakes for Dinner

I Won't!: a poem for the end of exams


I Went to the Mountain: nonsense rhymes